I am a mother of two, and a wife. I am a full time mom and Office Manager. I believe I have had the ”typical” ups and downs in life. My parents are both alive today, however their lack of presence in my life as a child probably played a major role in my depression as an adult. I have suffered bouts of depression throughout my adult life starting more intensly after the birth of my second child, my son, when I was only 19. Back then I did not even know what depression was and that help was available. I suffered through it for about a year.. Then brief run ins with depression after that, and of course being older I became aware that there was actually medicine and professional help for me and bounced back to my ”regular” self after being treated…. However, with the knowledge and expierences that I had with depression could have prepared me for the severe depression episode that I expierenced in 2009… So severe, I couldn’t function, work, eat, even simple tasks, getting dressed seemed so impossible .I became psycosis and out of touch with reality, because I couldn’t sleep and my mind was so lost….I truly believed I was the saddest person here on earth and I cry now thinking of how painful it was for me.. Depresion hurts so much and that doesn’t include the pysical pain that you have, the hair and severe weight loss that I had. The oddest thing about my depression was that no traumatic events were happening at the time in my life. The only thing that might have triggered my depression was.. I was obssesed with dieting and had recently lost 70 lbs (with diet and excersise). I was not eating much and possibly lack of nutrients shook up my brain chemistry.. Anyhow, I ended up losing complete touch of reality after suffering, crying,counseling, differant meds for 5 months. I believe it was my mind’s way of trying to heal, was to just ”check out” completely.. I was deemed 51/50 and admitted to a mental health hospital. After about 1 week of strong meds, (and tons of prayers) my mind started to feel relief. Awe like a sense of ”I’m going to be ok, afterall just like my doctors told me”. I believe my mind was thinking and thinking so much that is what was causing me to fall deeper and deeper into depression and when I was given the strong meds in the hospital my mind was able to relax and stop the record player of negative thoughts and I was able to see things in a more reality state of mind. From there my road to recovery was in progress. I have been in group therapy, one on one therapy and counseling and the medication that ended up working for me was prozac. Before my episode I was not on any type of meds and before that only took them when I had my ”smaller” bouts of depression and for only a brief time… When I was going through this aweful time of my life I had tons of doctors working with me, they are my little group of hero’s, and truly they are saving lives..Thank God for them. Today, I am so thankful for life, and glad to be here on this earth. I am not on any meds now for 3 months, of course with the help and approval from my doctor (but will take them in a heartbeat, if I recogonized the depression coming back on) The meds played a big role in my recovery, but also the doctors and especially my family is what helped me through and just the desperation of wanting to get better helped me to be healed. I listened to my doctors and trusted them. Even today, I have comfort in just knowing if that ever happens again to me, I know where to go and who I can turn to.. In the deep mist of the depression, I couldn’t imagine that I was going to make it through, but here I am living proof, depression can be CONQUERED!!!!!! Love you all and never give up… Tina

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